Momentous
by blvdgirl
Summary: The first time she called him “Dad” right after their initial encounter with the Cybermen, he’d said, “Don’t.” Looking at her now, awkward and sad, drinking tea across from him at the kitchen table, he regretted his cowardice for the umpteenth time.


Set in "Pete's World" after 2.13 _Doomsday_

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Doctor Who, but they were nice enough to drop by for a chat...

MOMENTOUS

Pete Tyler sat alone in his kitchen nursing a lukewarm cup of tea. Jackie and Rose were upstairs, presumably sleeping. It had been a late night at the Institute. Still, he'd come home to a dinner plate and a note, and, for all the world, he felt like the luckiest man in his universe.

After returning from the other world (the Doctor's world, Pete couldn't help but call it in his mind), the Tylers had all been holed up in Torchwood for hours, undergoing a gamut of tests and, in Pete's case, completing pages and pages of paperwork. Jackie had been so exhausted that she'd fallen asleep in the car on the ride home, her head lolling to his shoulder. He'd been elated at the contact, innocent as it had been. He had been overwhelmed by his emotional connection to this woman who both was and wasn't his wife.

That had been a week ago.

In the days since bringing Jackie and Rose back with him, he'd reopened the mansion. He'd had it repaired after the Cybermen had destroyed it, intending to sell it, but he hadn't gotten around to it. He hadn't really wanted to sell it, to let go of that piece of his life with Jackie, and so he had continued to maintain it, though he'd lived in a flat in town. He was frightened at first to bring the other Jackie home to the mansion, afraid that she would see it as hand-me-downs and view it disdainfully. But, she hadn't. She been pleased, more than pleased, saying that it was just too much with that cheeky and delighted light in her eyes.

This Jackie's actions continually reminded him of the truth, that she was not his wife of nearly twenty years, but his widow. She was a woman who had never been wealthy and bored with it; she was a woman resilient enough to raise a daughter on her own. She was in every way the creative and resourceful woman that he'd fallen in love with all those years ago, but this Jackie Tyler was more fully realized and certain of herself than his Jackie had ever been. And, he was smitten.

Mickey had told him pretty early on about the other Pete's demise, and Pete had concluded that maybe it was his fault that his own Jackie had turned out so differently, that perhaps losing him was the best thing that could have happened to her or, he considered, to them. It was a sobering thought. Looking back over his relationship with his wife, he could suddenly see glaring moments that defined who they were and who they became. If only he'd known they were so momentous at the time… Well, the universes had opened their arms to him and given him a second chance, and he would do his damnedest to deserve it.

He was startled from his thoughts by Rose's arrival. She was dressed in a set of his old pajamas and had her haired pulled up onto the top of her head. She didn't seem surprised to see him, and she smiled at him tentatively as she moved to put a pot of water on the burner. They were silent as she proceeded to make herself a cup of tea, both too preoccupied to speak.

Pete studied her with wonder, this grown daughter of the other him, this girl whose eyes belied an understanding and a sadness too immense for her years, this girl who had traveled the universe and faced things both more awesome and awful than he could imagine. Here he was, rejoicing in the renewal of his life, reveling in his fortune at a second chance, and there she was, using all of her will to hide her brokenness at the lose of her enigmatic Doctor and her discomfort with a father who wasn't really her father, a man who had wounded her deeply so very deeply.

The first time she called him "Dad" right after their initial encounter with the Cybermen, he'd said, "Don't." Looking at her now, awkward and sad, drinking tea across from him at the kitchen table, he regretted his cowardice for the umpteenth time. He had known after all, known intuitively from the moment when they'd spoken at the party, known from the moment when he'd felt her hand in his. He had known, but he couldn't quite believe it. He was afraid to believe it. And, now they were both suffering unfathomable little miseries because of his failings.

Sitting there, he could only admire her. Having heard about her from Mickey and observing her in their short time together, he could only be proud of her. He only wished that he could be proud of her as a father, knowing that she was in part the woman that she was because of him, but he couldn't. He wasn't her father; he didn't deserve her, he knew. And, he berated himself for all the years that he had lost because he knew that her absence in his universe, that was his fault.

"Don't." Rose's voice broke the silence, her words low and steady.

Pete tipped his head to the side. "Sorry?" He looked at her puzzled. "Don't what?"

"Don't sit there feeling worried and uncomfortable. I know that I make you feel...well, a bit off." She tried to smile nonchalantly; it almost reached her eyes. "But, I just want you to be happy. Both you and Mum. You both deserve it so much."

Pete's heart convulsed as her tone warbled. What must she think he thought of her? She thought that she made him uncomfortable. Well, she did, but not in the way she was imagining. He knew that he'd have to set her straight. He'd have to tell her the truth. Now. "Rose," he began, his own words catching in his throat. "I owe you an apology."

"No," she interrupted. "No, no you don't. Not really. No." Panic began to light her eyes, and she continued awkwardly. " I know that you weren't expecting me, and that if it wasn't for mum's insistance..."

Pete instinctively rose to his feet and put his hands out in a concillatory manner. "Now, Rose, please don't be upset, and please, please don't even think what you're about to say. I want you here. I want you.You musn't think that I don't want you, that it was just Jackie that made me go back" The naked emotion in his voice stopped her and she stared at him, eyes wide and filling with tears. He slowly slumped back into his seat and sighed. "Rose, I've told you that I need to apologize, and I do, for two things. The first one is that I ran from you before, when you called me 'Dad.' I was scared, but I know that that's no excuse."

"It's fine." She answered weakly, shaking her head as if to argue. "I shouldn't of said it. The Doctor he warned me not too. He said..." Her tears were flowing freely now, making it difficult for her to speak. "But I'm.. .I'm so stupid... And, I didn't listen... I wouldn't... 'S not your fault."

"That's where you're wrong, Love," he spoke quietly, his eyes also filling with tears. "It is my fault. It's my fault that I was scared of you then cause of what I've got to tell you about now." He paused to consider his words carefully and then continued, "Rose, I have to apologize to you cause it was my fault that you were never born."

TO BE CONTINUED...

A/N- Please read and review.


End file.
